Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Jester.
Caution: Jester may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Jester Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Jester on concrete.
Discontinue use of Jester if any of the following occurs: Itching Vertigo Dizziness Tingling in extremities Loss of balance or coordination Slurred speech Temporary blindness Profuse sweating Heart palpitations
If Jester begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Jester may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Jester should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Jester, Fat Man Must Die, and its parent company Fnord, Inc, of any and all liability.
Jester includes an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Jester has been shipped to our troops in Afghanistan and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.